From Relationships to Relating

The single most vital key that will provide the way forward for a better life and a better world is relating.

To understand this more deeply it helps us to recognise core issues that are manifested due to the misperception of separation: the perceived disconnection from spirit/source.

This sense of disconnection underlies EVERY issue we endure as individuals and as a human race. We feel dislocated in ourselves and in life. We have a distorted perception of our whole experience. All that we experience is interpreted through our perceptions. These perceptions then lead us to experience what we think. As we experience what we think we make it our belief system. From our belief system, we continue to think and act in ways that shape our entire experience of life.

As we perceive we believe, as we believe we think, as we think we imagine, as we imagine we behave, as we behave we have… exactly what we imagined to be.

The first symptom to come out of our (perceived) disconnection with spirit is the belief of separation which manifests in our idea of other. We become an experience of something ‘other’ than source, soul, eternal life. AND other than everything else we see.

Not only is there a sense of separation from one’s own self or source, there is a sense of separation from every other part of creation. Every person we meet (who really is a part of our infinite Self), is encountered as other. Not only is the experience a sense of other… it is also a sense of opposite… our experience is one of duality; me and you this and that right and wrong.

This sense of separation is the source of all fears. Whatever is seen as outside of our self is seen either as a threat or as desirable. We seek to either reject in order to protect our self or to possess in order to feel more complete. Our experience becomes one of dualistic relating… a sense of never-ending struggle.

Our whole experience of life is a relationship. Every single moment is centred in the way we relate to what is happening.

The first ground of this never ending battle manifests itself in relationship. What we call relationship is the game of the dualistic mind. From this position there can never be a sense of true unity, harmony, peace or fulfillment. For as long as the person is seen or felt as other there will always be a polarity of feelings to protect… and an imaginary goal to achieve.

In fact nearly all of humanity has a perception of relationships based on fairy tales. The first feature of universal myth is that we are all separate, one from another, the second is that there is “a one and only” – (Mr. or Mrs. Right), and the third is that union with that one right person will lead to a life of happily ever after.

When we bring ourselves back to Truth, to our true nature, we discover that there truly is no other… there is only Self reflected in and through all things. All of our human manifestations are ALL Mr. and Mrs. Right. Each encounter we have with any individual character is simply an experience with another aspect of our Self.

No single one will ever ‘perfectly’ match our self because every single part of our self IS different… although a manifestation of ONE being. And all of this is an eternal dance of ever changing moments of RELATING. In other words… there is no everlasting love at the level of form… only in the level of spirit.

This does not mean it is impossible to have what most people seek: fulfilling and harmonious relationships. It does mean however that we must give up the illusion (the fairy tale) of relationships and embrace the journey of RELATING.

And where does that begin?


All relating begins in our Self.

As long as our basis of ‘self’ is one that is dislocated, every moment of relating with other – whether it be a partner or it be work or nature, it will be based in an experience of separation. It will be an illusion and sooner or later will lead to frustration and disillusionment. Because human nature seeks the experience of love. When we feel dislocated we do not feel our true nature which IS love which is ONENESS.

When we return to our innermost Self we are capable of rediscovering our true essence… the Self as Oneness. It is in our inner Self that we also re-encounter our Self as boundless, as energy, as spatial being. Through this we can truly experience Oneness… and LOVE. We can feel all things within our Self and our Self within all things.

When we see our Self in ‘other’ it is no longer possible to form a relationship based in fear. It is no longer an encounter of competition, protection or effort to possess. It is a deeply encountered state of relating… centered in love. It is seen as an expression that is alive and centered only and forever in the now. It is seen as an opportunity to express the Self that is only Love and to feel and witness our Self as Love through the reflection of what appears as other. This appearance is seen as a gift; a multi-dimensional mirror, to know our infinite Self in and through endless forms.

Try this simple exercise as a way to begin re-developing the experience of relating as unified self.

Through a more unified state you may unveil the opportunity to encounter truly loving relating in every moment.

First take 15 minutes to centre your self.

Begin by breathing slowly… in deep steady rhythm.

Connect with the energy with your breath and flow inwardly. Attune to the flow of inner energy and spaciousness.

When you feel a deep sense of spaciousness and expansion slowly half open your eyes.

As your eyes open let your gaze be soft.

Maintaining this soft gaze, take in the aspect of space that is in the whole field before you. Let your focus of experience rest on the sense of space… seeing how all things are sitting inside of spaciousness.

Now shift your sense of awareness to the flow of energy that is this space. Feel and see how all things are connected as this energy. All things are one field of energy.

Maintain your state of awareness in this way for half an hour.

When you are ready to get up, take a deep breath into your inner core. Feel your innermost being connected with all things.

May you live in the Blessing Field of Oneness.

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